someone unfollowed me and i checked and it was a porn blog but i still felt a loss, you know?

Things I Say While I'm Driving

Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: /dinosaur screams/

mstoph:

“you’re really pretty” *punk’d cameras come out*

holonboy:

The look of true terror.

shinyreuniclus:

only 199X kids remember: when giygas invaded and tried to sentence all of reality to the horror of infinite darkness <3

caliphorniaqueen:

yungkawaiiinigga:

M.I.A raps with her regular english accent so idk why iggy azalea out here doin impressions of Diamond from Crime Mobb

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ruinedchildhood:

When I lose my mom at Walmart

magicul:

when someone screenshots your snapchat

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nialls-genitalls:

Me when I’m the next one to present in class

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vriskafuckingserket:

fortknots:

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This is my favorite motherfucking thing about getting closer to Halloween every FUCKING YEAR

hikari-the-human:

my avocado don’t

me reading my own posts: um no one cares asshole